It's been nearly a decade, and yet this pain has remained a constant companion in my life. The weight of feeling sorry and missing what I've lost has become so painfully. I'm always stuck thinking about the past and can't find a way to move forward. I have to admit, that separation messed up my life, changing me into someone I don't even recognize.

I lost you.

I lost myself.

I want you to know that I've never felt angry at you. What really bothers me is the big regret about who I used to be and why I didn't make better choices back then. 

After years of trying to understand, I've decided it's time to let go. All the times I wished things were different, wishing I could turn back time and change things, those times are over.

Do you know? Almost every night, I've struggled with the painful "what ifs" in my mind. But thinking about these questions just makes the wounds deeper and the pain last longer. It's time for me to find the strength to stop longing and regretting. The memories we made are now a sad reminder of what I've lost. I'll always remember the times we laughed, cried, and supported each other.

But it's hard; it always is. Letting go is a tough job that needs a lot of strength. It means admitting the pain, dealing with it, and slowly letting it go. It's about understanding that the past can't be changed, but the future is something we can work on.

So, as I write these words, it shows that I'm committed to letting go of the sadness and regret that have been bothering me for too long. This shows my decision to say goodbye to the person I used to be, the person caught up in the past. It's time for me to move forward, to grow, and to find out who I'm supposed to be.

I'm not sure if you'll ever read these words, but if someday you do, know that the feelings I had for you have still the same. And if we ever meet by chance one day, I hope we can say a simple hello, remembering the innocence and warmth we once had when we first met in 2011, both wearing white and blue uniforms.

So, goodbye to all those feelings.